Review by Jon Donnis
Disney's Snow White is a baffling misfire that takes one of the most beloved animated films of all time and twists it into something unrecognisable. Directed by Marc Webb, this live-action remake strips away the magic and charm of the 1937 classic, replacing it with a hollow, identity politics driven narrative that feels more like a lecture than a fairy tale.
The story follows the basic outline of the original, but with several major changes that make it clear the filmmakers were more interested in reinventing the film than honouring its legacy. Snow White, played by Rachel Zegler, is no longer the innocent, kind-hearted princess with "skin as fair as snow", audiences remember. Instead, she is reimagined as a modern, independent heroine who seems more focused on proving a point than capturing the warmth and grace of the original character. Her love interest, Prince Charming, has been replaced by Jonathan, a new character played by Andrew Burnap, whose inclusion adds nothing of value to the story. The Evil Queen, played by Gal Gadot, is one of the film's few bright spots, but even her natural beauty cannot salvage a film weighed down by its own misguided ambition.
One of the worst decisions was the replacement of the traditional dwarfs with a group of CGI-created, weird looking characters. The choice to abandon real actors with dwarfism in favour of these odd-looking abominations is baffling and insulting, removing one of the most iconic elements of the original film in an attempt to be more politically correct, at least we didn't get the "magical creatures" that were the original plan. The result is a visual disaster, with the CGI dwarfs looking completely out of place, further reinforcing the idea that this film was made without any real understanding of what made the original special.
Gal Gadot's performance as the Evil Queen is one of the few things that works, but even she is let down by the film's overall approach. The idea that someone who looks like Gal Gadot would be jealous of Rachel Zegler's Snow White is absurd to the point of being laughable. If anything, the film would have been better served by exploring the Queen's own insecurities rather than expecting audiences to believe she is being outshone by someone half her age who looks like she was born with fetal alcohol syndrome, ever noticed how so many new young actresses seem to have hypertelorism? Gadot delivers her lines with the right amount of menace, but the film never allows her to fully embrace the villainy of the role, which is another wasted opportunity, and her acting skills are lacking here, which is hard for me to admit as I do like her.
At nearly two hours, the film drags unbearably, with unnecessary subplots and a choppy narrative that never finds its footing. The addition of Jonathan as a love interest adds nothing but wasted screen time, and his chemistry with Snow White is non-existent. The ending, which sees Snow White leading a rebellion and inspiring the people to overthrow the Queen, feels more like a political statement than a satisfying conclusion to a fairy tale. Instead of a romantic and magical ending, we get a strange, lifeless resolution that comes across as a homage to a P-Diddy white party more than anything else..
Disney had one job: take the original Snow White and remake it faithfully with live actors, staying true to the magic and charm of the 1937 film. They could have simply remade the film, shot for shot, but with live actors, and everyone would have been happy, well everyone apart from the blue hair woke brigade that is. Instead, they have created an abomination that alienates fans of the classic while failing to appeal to new audiences.
The film is dull, joyless, and utterly forgettable, with only Gal Gadot's beauty offering the slightest hint of entertainment. It is easily one of the worst remakes Disney has ever produced, a film that will be forgotten as quickly as it was announced. It is a painful reminder that not all stories need to be rewritten to fit modern sensibilities, especially when the changes suck the life out of the original. Snow White is a complete disaster, a cynical and misguided attempt to reinvent a classic that never needed fixing. It deserves to be buried alongside the worst of Disney's live-action catalogue. A pitiful 2 out of 10.
In cinemas now, but if you really want to see it, wait a few weeks and I will probably be given away for free as an incentive to join Disney Plus.
